Healing Together: How a Singapore Gottman Couples Therapist Supports Relationships Through Grief
Why Read This?
Here's a message of hope and an acknowledgement of your feeling lost, confused, bitter... If you are experiencing a painful loss and feel more distant from your spouse or life partner.....
.....if you feel guilty about being resentful towards your other half for not feeling as you do,...
......if you feel confused and would to support your partner through this difficult situation but you face push back, even contempt.
In this article we hope to gently walk with you and that you will have some clarity, understanding and perhaps even a moment of consolation.
In addition, we include information about how you may:
Discover how grief affects relationships and why couples therapy can provide essential support.
Learn practical, research-backed strategies to communicate and navigate loss together.
Find out how My Inner Child Clinic's trauma-informed therapists, experienced in Gottman Method, grief counseling, and inner child healing, can guide you through this journey.
Understand the challenges couples face without professional support and how unresolved grief can impact emotional connection, trust, and long-term relationship stability.
Bereavement Support for Parents
There is no loss greater than the loss of a child, and no words can truly capture the depth of your pain. If you feel lost, bitter, or overwhelmed with sadness, know that your grief is not something you have to carry alone. In the midst of this heartbreak, healing does not mean forgetting—it means learning to hold love and loss together.
One step at a time, in your own way, you can find moments of light, connection, and meaning again. You are not alone, and there is space for your sorrow, your love, and your healing.
We walk this journey with you, with care and understanding, whenever you're ready
We are trauma-informed and experienced Gottman Method Couple Therapists who can child bereavement support for parents.
1. Holding Each Other Close Amid Grief
💙 Grief can feel isolating, pulling you and your partner in different directions. One may withdraw while the other seeks comfort. It’s okay if you're not grieving the same way. What matters is finding small ways to turn toward each other rather than away. Support and understanding can help you rebuild a sense of safety in your relationship, even in the midst of loss.
2. Honoring Your Own Grief While Navigating Life’s Demands
🔄 Grief is deeply personal—some express it openly, while others hold it inside. If you find yourself struggling to be the diligent employee, the supportive friend, or the loving spouse you once were, know that it’s okay. Bereavement support can help you communicate your needs with compassion, using gentle words to share your feelings without fear of judgment. There is no ‘right’ way to grieve, only the way that allows you to heal at your own pace.
3. Rediscovering Meaning in the Midst of Loss
🌱 In the wake of losing your child, life may feel like it has lost its structure. The routines you once embraced—your work, your relationships, even your daily responsibilities—may feel foreign or impossible to return to. Grieving together with your partner does not mean moving on; it means finding ways to honor your loss while continuing to live with love and intention. Support can guide you toward meaningful rituals, small steps of healing, and ways to rebuild your world without feeling like you are leaving your child behind.
Grief and Relationships: A Shared Yet Individual Journey
Grief is a deeply personal journey, yet when experienced within a relationship, it can create new complexities. Partners may process loss differently—one may seek comfort through conversation, while the other withdraws into silence. Without understanding these differences, grief can lead to emotional distance, miscommunication, and loneliness within the relationship.
Challenges Couples Face Without Professional Support
Without proper guidance, couples may struggle with:
Unresolved Emotional Distance: One partner may become emotionally unavailable, leading the other to feel abandoned.
Increased Conflict: Miscommunication and different grieving styles can result in arguments and frustration.
Loss of Intimacy: Grief may create a barrier to physical and emotional closeness.
Avoidance of Difficult Conversations: Fear of upsetting each other can prevent open discussions, leading to built-up resentment.
Breakdown of Trust and Connection: Partners may misinterpret grief responses as indifference or rejection.
Struggles in Fulfilling Responsibilities: Grief can make it challenging to maintain daily responsibilities, and when one partner feels unsupported in household or parenting duties, resentment may build.
At My Inner Child Clinic, our trauma-informed, Gottman-trained therapists provide couples with tools to navigate grief together. Through structured therapy sessions, we help partners find understanding, support each other’s healing process, and rebuild emotional connection.
Why Seek Couples Therapy During Grief?
Many couples struggle to grieve together. Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that emotional disconnection during difficult times can increase stress and relationship dissatisfaction. Grief can amplify conflict patterns, intensify feelings of isolation, and challenge a couple’s ability to support each other.
Engaging in therapy as a couple offers a structured environment to:
Express and validate emotions in a safe, non-judgmental space.
Recognize and respect different grieving styles without resentment.
Strengthen emotional connection by learning how to communicate supportively.
Cooperate and support each other in daily responsibilities, ensuring that grief does not lead to imbalance and frustration.
Grief can either drive a wedge between partners or deepen their bond—therapy provides the guidance to turn pain into healing.
Understanding the Stages of Grief and Their Impact on Couples
Grief is not linear. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) illustrate the emotional shifts people go through, but each person experiences these differently.
In a relationship, one partner may be in denial, wanting to avoid discussing the loss, while the other is in anger, feeling frustrated and misunderstood. These mismatched emotional states can create tension, making communication feel impossible.
Therapy helps couples:
Recognise where they are emotionally without judgment.
Learn to respond with empathy instead of frustration when their partner grieves differently.
Find common ground in their healing journey.
Understand how to balance grief with shared responsibilities, preventing stress and imbalance from straining the relationship.
Each individual has their own needs and values system, and when these needs go unmet, emotional distress may lead to a widening gulf between partners.
For example:
One partner wishes to move on, while the other still needs space to grieve. The partner still grieving may feel unheard, unsupported, and emotionally dismissed, leading to resentment and withdrawal.
A partner in denial struggles to accept loss, while the other wants to "help them get better." The grieving partner may feel controlled, pressured, or misunderstood, increasing emotional distance.
Different coping mechanisms create conflict. One partner may find comfort in discussing memories, while the other avoids the topic altogether, causing frustration and a sense of emotional isolation.
Physical intimacy and affection may decrease. One partner may withdraw, while the other feels neglected, leading to misinterpretations of rejection or lack of care.
Challenges in fulfilling daily roles arise. When one partner is overwhelmed by grief and unable to contribute to shared responsibilities, the other may feel burdened and unsupported.
In Gottman's approach, updating each other's Love Map is essential to reconnect, fostering a deeper understanding of each partner’s evolving emotional world. Through this process—what Dr. Gottman describes as turning towards each other instead of away in conflict—couples can rebuild emotional safety, deepen trust, and navigate grief as a team.
Healing Together: Meaningful Activities for Grieving Couples
Beyond conversation, shared activities can strengthen a couple’s bond during grief. Remember that we can still grieve and have a shared purpose of grieving well together!
A life of shared purpose is possible, even in the midst of loss. Grief does not have to mean disconnection—together, couples can honour their pain while building a future rooted in love, resilience, and mutual support.
🌿 Memory Sharing Rituals – Creating a space to talk about memories together can bring comfort and connection. Research shows that shared reminiscing helps couples feel less isolated in their grief (Neimeyer, 2016).
🧘 Mindfulness & Grounding Practices – Engaging in mindfulness together—such as meditation or nature walks—can help regulate emotions and reduce anxiety (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).
💞 Rebuilding Connection Through Small Gestures – Simple actions, like holding hands or leaving affirming notes, remind partners they are not alone in their loss.
🛠️ Cooperating in Daily Responsibilities – Supporting each other in maintaining household duties and caregiving roles can prevent feelings of isolation and frustration, allowing grief to be processed without additional stress.
You are not alone in your grief—when couples navigate loss together with compassion and understanding, they create a foundation of love, resilience, and mutual support.
Grief is a profound journey that affects many couples, and it often tests the strength of their relationship. When faced with loss, partners may experience a wide range of emotions that can disrupt communication and intimacy. While grieving independently is common, engaging in therapy together can facilitate healing and understanding, promoting both personal and relational growth. This post discusses the value of couples therapy during grief recovery, particularly through the lens of Gottman Couple Therapy, highlighting communication strategies and activities that enhance connections.
If you are ready while your partner isn't, we will support you through the process first. Approach our psychotherapists for a Grief Work session and trust in the process.
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