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Writer's pictureIgnatius Quek

What is the root of anger? An Anger Management Reflection Guide.

Anger is a response to a situation that arises and the root causes of anger can be physiological, sensorial, emotional and mental. However the core message to anyone who experiences anger is something is not right, I have to protect myself and keep safe. Hence its root is a need to be safe.


What is common in all expressions of anger is that we could be in pain, distress, fear, and it is not okay right now, something is not right.


When do I feel angry?


The roots of anger are sensorial irritation, physical pain and emotional triggers related to a lack of safety. With this clarity, the purpose of anger management should be to help guide ourselves back to a sense of safety.



Anger Management Coaching


The 7 roots of anger explained.


Try this activity. Fill in the blank to this statement: "I feel angry when ...."

Your anger would probably arise from one or more of these situations.


  1. Physical pain or stress - depending on our coping ability, we react in anger when in varying levels of pain or discomfort.

  2. Sensory needs unmet - this is more prevalent in people with sensory integration issues, some of whom may have autism or ADHD. When the coping strategies are insufficient and the body is overwhelmed, we tend to feel out of control. If you exhibit short-tempered behaviour in a crowded, noisy, hot and foreign environment, chances are your body is trying its best to cope and you need to give it a break, or have a coping strategy.

  3. Conscious cues of threats and feeling unsafe - our brain is developed to swiftly protect us from perceived threats and one of the strategies we use is to get angry. Anger as a fear response is often useful in moments of danger, physical or otherwise as it stimulates energy to act.

  4. Activated threat detection - we may unconsciously be under threat, resulting in anger at the tiniest things. One of the reasons could be a heightened alertness to dangers due to past or developmental trauma. It could also relate back to the sensory over-stimulation which overloads the brain.

  5. Unmet needs - when important needs are unmet, anger surfaces to give us the energy to express our desire to have those needs fulfilled. Such needs often relate to social connection (relationships, intimacy, recognition) and may also relate to basic needs of safety and security.

  6. Loss of control - anger could be helpful for us to gain control of a situation. In moments where power and control over a situation or in a relationship is altered, anger arises to wrestle it back. If often used to a desired effect, we develop a habit of using anger to regain control leading to behaviours that have negative consequences.

  7. Justice issues - Anger leaves clues to our moral compass, values and sense of justice. When we discern the purpose of our anger response, it usually bears a message of what should be and how this situation should not have happened. In couples or relationships therapy, the injustice leads to anger and, if left unattended to, the injustice breeds contempt.





Where does my anger come from?

Anger comes from the intention to feel safe. When we feel unsafe we tend to feel the energy being trapped in our body before it gets released. This is where a combination of our thoughts and feelings either help or hurt ourselves and those around us.


Helping clients identify their physiological changes when anger arises in the body is My Inner Child Clinic's preferred approach to anger management.


Problem anger and healthy anger. What's the difference?

Anger is a messenger. In itself anger is neutral. How we respond (or react) to anger could potentially be problematic or healthy.


What is "Healthy Anger"?

Anger is released in a way that we can harness the energy, interpret its message and act purposefully is healthy anger. The ability to constructively channel anger to foster a healthy set of boundaries and form character is crucial.


Forms of anger released in catharsis can also be healing. In somatic work, there is an understanding that forms of pain and unpleasant memories can be trapped in parts of the body. Anger helps to release this.


When is my anger becoming a problem?

Anger becomes a problem when it is unexamined, when it causes hurt and harm to you and others, when it creates a vicious cycle of blame and negative self-talk which creeps into the belief system and forms an identity. Anger is also a problem when it creates more stress in our body and retains more pain for us to endure.


Instant Anger Management: How may I immediately respond to my anger?

Flow with the energy of anger to sense where it is in the body. Use this energy and direct it through movement. If you can, use eye movements to help engage executive functions in the brain.


When you feel stable enough, soothe your anger as a loving parent would cuddle a child. Stroking your shoulder down to the elbow and back up stimulates the nervous system to a relaxation response. Stroking and massaging the back of the neck helps to a similar effect.


Leave if possible to introduce movement, a new environment and an opportunity to be aware of the need to breathe more consciously and rhythmically.


If there is someone safe you can co-regulate with, reach out to this person for support.


We will teach you all these in our emotional regulation and Safe and Sound Protocol sessions.

What can I do if I can't control my anger?

We cannot undo what already happened. Hence it is important to harness the wisdom from this anger episode.


Rather than brooding and reinforcing negative beliefs about your actions and self-blame, get into a cycle of feeling regulated, focusing on restoring the sense of feeling safe and free. Using common mood regulation and psychotherapy techniques such as eye movements, somatic experiencing or stretching helps restore calmness.


We find multichannel eye movement integration and activating the nervous system through sensory integration techniques like Havening is particularly useful to activate the ventral vagal nervous system for social engagement.


Make use of the anger episode to reflect instead of trying too hard to manage it.

Ask yourself which of these Anger Roots are festering and if uncared for, will lead to the next occurrence?


Is this situation a standalone anomaly, or a regular trigger which manifests in different settings?


Have I utilised strategies that worked previously? How may I adapt and try a different approach?


Is the situation going to recur and what support would I need to help me regulate?


Is this a sign that I need to seek help?


Aligning the Anger Reflection Framework to psychological and neurobiological research.


The 7 Roots of Anger framework for self-reflection is based on various research studies, though our work experience and through our lived experience.


Here are some established psychological and neurobiological studies that have contributed to this framework.


1. Physical Pain or Stress

  • Research Basis: Physical pain and stress trigger the amygdala, the brain's fear center, which often results in emotional outbursts, including anger. Chronic pain has been linked to irritability and anger due to the constant activation of the stress response system.

  • Studies:

    • Bushman, B. J., & Anderson, C. A. (2001). Anger and aggression: The role of stress in facilitating aggressive behavior. Stress increases anger as a response to aversive stimuli.

    • Gatchel, R. J., et al. (2007). The biopsychosocial approach to chronic pain: Scientific advances and future directions. Pain directly influences mood and emotional regulation, often leading to anger.


2. Sensory Needs Unmet

  • Research Basis: Sensory processing sensitivity (as seen in conditions like autism or ADHD) makes individuals more prone to feeling overwhelmed. Overstimulation activates the fight-or-flight response, leading to frustration or anger.

  • Studies:

    • Schaaf, R. C., & Lane, A. E. (2015). Toward a best-practice protocol for assessment of sensory features in autism spectrum disorder. Demonstrates how unmet sensory needs can exacerbate emotional dysregulation.

    • Engel-Yeger, B., & Dunn, W. (2011). Exploration of sensory processing patterns and their association with anxiety levels in healthy adults. Sensory overwhelm directly correlates with anger or emotional outbursts.


3. Conscious Cues of Threats and Feeling Unsafe

  • Research Basis: Perceived threats, even in non-physical situations, activate the brain’s defense mechanisms. Anger is a common protective response to restore safety or dominance.

  • Studies:

    • Öhman, A., et al. (2001). Fear and anger as basic emotions: Implications for their biological substrates. Explains how threats activate anger through the amygdala's role in danger perception.

    • Sapolsky, R. M. (2015). Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. Highlights the link between chronic threat perception and the development of stress-induced anger.


4. Activated Threat Detection

  • Research Basis: Trauma survivors often experience heightened amygdala activity and hypersensitivity to threats, which can lead to anger outbursts over minor provocations.

  • Studies:

    • Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Discusses how developmental trauma primes the brain for hyperarousal, leading to chronic irritability and anger.

    • Ford, J. D., & Courtois, C. A. (2014). Complex PTSD, affect dysregulation, and anger issues. Shows the connection between unconscious threat detection and anger.


5. Unmet Needs

  • Research Basis: Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs demonstrates how unmet basic and psychological needs cause frustration and anger. Social rejection and unmet attachment needs are particularly potent triggers.

  • Studies:

    • Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Unmet social needs correlate strongly with anger.

    • Bowlby, J. (1988). Attachment, communication, and the therapeutic process. Discusses how unmet attachment needs manifest as anger and frustration.


6. Loss of Control

  • Research Basis: The desire for control is a fundamental psychological need. Situations that threaten control often elicit anger as a compensatory response to regain perceived power.

  • Studies:

    • Averill, J. R. (1982). Anger and aggression: An essay on emotion. Shows how anger arises from perceived loss of autonomy or control.

    • Skinner, E. A. (1996). A guide to constructs of control. Explains how perceived control impacts emotional regulation, with anger being a dominant response to control threats.


7. Justice Issues

  • Research Basis: Anger often signals moral violations and serves as a motivator for corrective action. Injustice leads to a strong sense of indignation, often manifesting in anger.

  • Studies:

    • Haidt, J. (2001). The emotional dog and its rational tail: A social intuitionist approach to moral judgment. Explains how moral violations trigger anger as an adaptive response.

    • Fehr, R., et al. (2012). The effects of organizational justice on workplace anger and aggression. Highlights how perceptions of injustice fuel anger in social and relational contexts.


Other Helpful Resources:

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